I Don’t Deserve You

With all the posts about Father’s Day on all of my social media sites, its hard not to think about my dad. I think one of the earliest memories I have of my dad and me is when I was in grade two and there was some sort of sports day at my school and it was extremely hot outside. I remember that I had received a participation ribbon and being the naive seven year old that I was, I was so proud of it. And my father was similarly ecstatic as I was. I look back on it now, and just laugh at how pathetic I must have seemed, but my dad was just enjoying the fact that I was happy.

I remember another point in my memory where my father had actually bought his own place. Let it be known that my father had one of the hardest upbringings that i have ever heard of. To my knowledge, he was first arrested when he was 14 because his father was being less than friendly and so he hit him. And then my dad was living on his own in the city by the time he was 16. Over the course of his teenage years he had been in and out of juvie and jail. When he was 19, his first daughter was born and then through his twenties, he first went back to school to get his diploma and had a numerous amount of jobs. When he was 30, my mom had me and I think when I turned nine years old was around the same time by dad actually bought his first house by himself. And in that time in my life, I was seriously spoiled and if I had a time machine I would probably slap myself and tell her to stop being such a brat. Being that I was absolutely clueless to the fact that my dad was so excited about the house, when he asked me my opinion on the house, I simply said that the house was gross and small. I regret saying that to my dad to this day, but he has still loved me unconditionally.

This is why I don’t deserve him, everything that he works for and all that he makes…..he puts as much of it a he can to giving me everything that i need. My dad is not usually a sentimental person but its in his actions that I know in my heart that he loves me.

My father is one of the hardest working people I know and to know that I disappointed him would be absolutely crushing to me. My dad has taught me many things throughout my life but the three things that he absolutely stressed about was, No Cheating, No Stealing and No Lying. As long as I follow these rules, I know that I might mess up in life but, I know that I wont do wrong by my hero….. My Father.


What The F**k Am I Doing?

Its summer vacation, other people are probably celebrating their freedom by going to parties, hanging out with their friends and actually having a life. Me, on the other hand, left this city as soon as school ended and is now spending her time drinking her weight in Iced Tea at my mother’s house and practically living like a vampire as the only time i go outside is to the store to get junk food.

Actually, that’s not even true, i make other people go get the munchies for me because I’m too much of an awkward person to talk to a stranger. Even if it is just a customer to cashier transaction. And now, from binge-watching too many episodes of Awkward, I’ve come up with the great idea to start a blog. And even that sounds stupid to me. Blog sounds like a word from the eighties like a walkman. But be that as it may, here I am, writing one. So lets see how I can screw this up.